What to Do When Your Dream Rejects You

so as some of you may know, I got rejected from my last grad school last week. So I made a list of ways to cope

  1. Cry

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2. Tell your friends so they can tell you how awesome you are anyway I love y’all

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(and they can hug you when you cry)

3. Cry some more (it’s your dream – you’re 100% allowed to be really upset)

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4. Pull yourself together and come up with a new (and improved) game plan:

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In all seriousness though friends, being rejected is hard – especially when it’s from what you think you’re supposed to be doing with your life. How you move forward and reconcile will go on to make the next few days, weeks, months, or years, a lot harder or easier.

I’ve chosen to put grad school on hold for the moment – maybe I need more experience. So I’m going to work on my book, (thanks mom – I pretty much have the most supportive parents) and try to get experience working with some non-profits in the Detroit/A2/(and eventually) Toledo area that support and raise awareness for literacy, education, stuff like that.

But for now, I’m still a senior trying to graduate.

-Julie

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January 18, 2017 looking at January 20, 2017

You know, I woke up this morning and while it wasn’t my very first thought, one of the first few was: “I need to write a blog post today.”

But about what?

I have a few planned for later this month/going into next, but today, I am a blank canvas who can’t stop thinking about one thing. The inauguration where we will officially allow an individual I don’t believe fits any of the requirements to lead a nation, into an office of power and influence.

Even though this is one of the most pressing weights on my mind right now, I don’t know what to say. This may be in part because I’m still sick, (ugh will it never end?) but I also don’t think I have the vocabulary to express the deep pain, fear, sadness, and horror I feel as the time draws closer.

I’ve (obviously) been able to pull myself out of the near-catatonic state I was in the days following the election, but it’s always close to the surface and I didn’t have the right words for what I felt then either. Language, while very freeing and an amazing way to open yourself up to others, express ideas, and explore new concepts, is also incredibly stifling when it comes to feelings because despite the hundreds of thousands of words in the English language, there still isn’t a right one for the way I feel right now, or the way I’ll feel on Friday, or the way I felt two months ago.

And I don’t want to presume, but I have a feeling there are a lot of people who feel the same way. So to you, the others who are feeling something but may not have words for it, or that feeling may be too strong and powerful for words: I love you and we can get through this.

J.K. Rowling gets a lot of hate, (some of it justified and some if it not) but this will always be one of my favorite quotes from her and so today I will leave it with you:

“But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Love and blessings to you all,

Julie

Preparing for a New Semester

As I write this, I’m sick, in bed, and trying to muster up the strength to get as far ahead in my work as possible so I have less to do tomorrow. And part of the getting ahead is writing a blog post so that’s one less thing to worry about!

This post happens to be about preparation and planning, which, conveniently enough, is also the topic of my program tomorrow. At least among my friends and staff, I’ve gotten a bit of a reputation as one of the most organized people around. I’m not upset by this, though I find it funny sometimes because internally I’m a mess – I think that’s why externally I’m so put together. But I’m not a psychologist, so who knows. 

Anyway! My planning process: it’s very organic and kind of just happens, but there are a few things I always do before a new semester:

1. Gather my supplies, which this semester included recovering some old notebooks to repurpose for new classes (a great way to make something fit your style and not spend a bunch of money!) 

2. Set up my planner. Currently I’m using a bullet journal, which is a DIY planner, so it takes a little more effort than a traditional one. But the end effect is so much better for me. 

3. Transfer any notes that I’ll need still/review information. This is especially important with my Latin 102 class as it’s the second half of the class I took last semester and we’re starting up right where we left off! So I prepped by rewriting Vocab and reviewing the grammar (the hardest part)


And that’s it! Well, not really, but that’s the basis of how I get ready for a new semester with some nice pictures of what I’ve done so far. And now I’m going to go do another vital part of preparing for a new semester, which is rest so I can hopefully not feel sick in the morning. 

Best wishes to you all!

Julie

My Last First Day

I still remember the pure joy that came from my last first day of high school. It was like the entire school was buzzing because my grade knew that after that day, we were done with that whole coming back to the same classrooms, and hallways, and people after every summer. In a year, we would be across the country, in different classrooms, walking down different hallways, with different people. It was all anyone could talk about, everyone was Facebook and tweeting it, (was snapchat a thing then? not really that I can remember – not yet! but if it was, we would have been snapping it too). It felt like the beginning of the rest of my life, this pinnacle of a day that I’d been waiting for forever.

My last first day of college is a lot quieter. Because it isn’t everyone’s last first day and it isn’t that it doesn’t matter, (because it very much does and believe me, I was just as excited to wake up this morning as I was four and a half years ago) it’s that it doesn’t matter as much as graduation will. Because graduation, the culmination of my hard work, tears, late nights, stress, heartbreak, the last four years of my life, that is what I’m looking forward to more now.

Academically, high school was easy for me. I wasn’t challenged, I was lazy, I didn’t push myself, and my diploma was just a piece of paper that I didn’t really work for, (at least that’s how it feels). I have worked, I have put in the hours, I have stretched myself beyond what I thought possible, for my undergraduate degree. And you bet, I will be so unbelievably proud to receive it, (sometime this summer once they’ve officially approved me for graduation because no one actually gets it in April lol).

So my last first day, while special, signals the start of more work, not less. I didn’t want to skate by my senior year, I didn’t want easy semesters, I wanted to keep pushing and that’s what I’ll do because I am so grateful for every second I get to spend in the classroom with people infinitely wiser than I am. This day is a little bittersweet in that respect, but thankfully next fall I should be in the classroom once again – for my graduate degree, this time.

I hope you all had wonderful first days, (or will have great ones when they happen) and I am so excited to be a part of the class of 2017.

Julie