New Feeling


I want to wrap myself
into you, around you
so that when yo
breathe I feel my
heart pump the
oxygen for it.

I want to dive into
your existence and
discover every aspect
you have to offer and
what you will open up
for me.
I want to know
your scars
and the stories
(tears, laughter, people)
that go with them;
how you became you.
I want to see
how you laugh, cry,
and smile sleepily
just waking up
and how you are
with the ones you love.
I want to ask
you every question
in the universe
because you are
the celestial object about which
I crave to know more.
I want to feel
this new feeling
until we are comfortable
in an old one where
we know and we trust
and we love.


Planning for Grad School: Part 1

Applying to Grad school is kind of like applying to undergrad but 100x worse because you don’t have high school counselors breathing down your neck, or colleges actively looking at you vs. frantically googling on your own in the dead of night, and don’t even get me started on how intimidating the GRE is, (also – why is standardized testing still a thing?).


Regrettably, there is nothing I can do about it but suck it up and get it done because at this point, grad school is my only option and I would love to get into the best one that will pay me the most and give me a great position as a GA, (graduate assistant). As much as I am frustrated at times by my job in housing, I would prefer to get a GA position within that context because I know that’s going to be the best fit for all the skills and strengths I’ve been working on for the past year or so through working in housing and with my residents.

All that being said though, this whole applying to college again thing is kind of my own personal circle of hell, (though this has nothing on Dante’s inferno).

Thankfully, I have a few months left till applications are due.


30 Days of BPD – Days 7-9

So the executive disfunction has been painfully real this weekend. I haven’t really done much of anything and I certainly have not been up to making videos. Which, is a fun part of my depression that usually hits during finals week making those basically the worst times ever. 

That being said, hopefully I will have some capability of making a video tomorrow.

Best to you all!


30 Days of BPD: Day 6

Somehow we’re almost a week done with this?! How wild is that. At any rate, this video is pretty rushed because I was working/am exhausted, so excuse that. I promise tomorrow’s will be much more relaxed and a lot less shaky. -Julie

30 Days of BPD: Days 4&5

  Aaaaaaand we’re back. Sorry for the lapse in consistent video up-loading, my roommate and I had a lot to discuss last night. But now you all get double the fun for your waiting! Like I said in the video, today has been good, better than yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow will be even more exciting/fruitful. […]

30 Days of BPD: Day 3

happy ‘murica day everyone anyway, here’s my update for today. I would have rather written a long post listing all the reasons why the 4th of July is a terrible holiday celebrating ideals that America doesn’t even stand for, but you know, that would have been a lot of effort and I don’t want a […]

30 Days of BPD: Day 2

Transcript: TBD Oh boy it’s been a long day. But a good one. And I’m glad to finally be home and with my dogs for a more extended period of time than just 24 hours or so. Currently my one pup is sleeping next to me, (my little heater) and I have my space books […]

30 Days of BPD: Day 1

transcript: Part 1: “Hi friends! Welcome to Day 1 of 30 Days of BPD, which my mom told me to point out means Borderline Personality Disorder, not anything else. She said some really long medical term that I don’t think anyone else would confuse it for, but she’s a doctor so that makes sense. This […]